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Top tier pro-athlete talent recruited to Gannon athletics

April Fools

Top tier pro-athlete talent recruited to Gannon athletics

The athletics office was bombarded with phone calls this past weekend from prospective athletes looking to get a piece of PSAC action here at Gannon. After countless hours of haggling, wheeling and dealing, the team is ready to announce some exciting additions to Gannon’s squad in the fall semester, or even the spring 2016 semester.

In the football world, Troy Polamalu, the strong safety from the Pittsburgh Steelers, has agreed to play for the Gannon Knights this coming fall. Polamalu, in addition to joining the team, will be attending Gannon University in attempts to earn a degree in history with a minor in sports and exercise science. In his last season with the Steelers, Polamalu had just 61 tackles, and also sat out the last four games of the regular season with an injury. He told Edge Magazine that he has been resting and rehabilitating during the offseason, and that he is ready to go “whenever needed.”

In addition, the baseball team earned a pickup as well. AJ Burnett, currently playing with the Pittsburgh Pirates, has agreed to finish out this season with the Bucs before travelling to Erie to play for Gannon. During his time here next season, he is expected to take classes in Nutrition and Human Performance. During the 2014 season, which he spent with the Phillies, he had an ERA of 4.59, allowing 205 and 109 Earned Runs. He is excited to play for Gannon, and has already begun purchasing his textbooks.

We also heard news from the soccer team this weekend. Landon Donovan, formerly of Team USA’s Olympic Run, has reached a deal to play for Gannon in the Fall of 2015. Donovan will study Mathematics during his time here at Gannon. Donovan had 10 goals and 19 assists in his 2014 season, spent with the LA Galaxy where he played 31 games. Edge was in the process of interviewing his teammates, but a reporter brushed one of their arms, and they now all have torn ACL’s.

And finally, from outside the athletics office, the Gannon Club Hockey Team has announced that the team has agreed to let Alex Ovechkin, formerly of the Washington Capitals in the NHL, play during their 2015-2016 season. Ovechkin is currently in his 10th season with Washington, and as of March 30, he has 49 goals and 75 points on the 2014-2015 season in 75 games played. Edge attempted to interview the star center, but were unable to understand anything he said because of his thick accent and feared it would seem xenophobic to ask him to repeat himself.

In completely unrelated news, today is April 1.

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