We at Edge LOVE Christmastime. In fact, we’ve had the office decorated since the conclusion of Halloween. We love Christmas not for the family time, presents nor holiday fun. We love it primarily for one reason and one reason alone: cheesy Christmas specials. Let’s face it, nothing is better than plunking down on your couch after a hard day and watching a half-hour claymation special about singing reindeer. To honor the spirit of the season, Edge editors April Sherinsky, Aaron Mook, Michael Haas and I sat down to discuss some of our favorite Christmas programs.
“The Santa Clause”
April: It wasn’t that long ago that I found out Santa Claus isn’t spelled with an “e.”
Aaron: Wait, it isn’t?
Aaron: I just now learned that Santa Claus isn’t spelled with an “e.”
April: This movie just has all my favorite things – Tim Allen, Denny’s, a dysfunctional family…
Aaron: Backhanded comments about ex-lovers.
Michael: Where did Tim Allen go? Is he on a mystery island with all the other disappearing celebrities? Or maybe I’m just oblivious to pop culture.
MK: My favorite part of this movie was when Neil got his weenie whistle.
Aaron: The heck is a weenie whistle?
April: Did that represent Neil’s weak, flawed character?
MK: Nah, he just always wanted a weenie whistle.
“A Charlie Brown Christmas”
Aaron: *weeps uncontrollably* Have you ever listened to the stuff Charlie Brown says? It’s a good thing Lucy is a part time psychologist.
April: I like the part where Charlie Brown is talking to Lucy. She has this little spiel where she says, “Do you have pantophobia?” And Charlie Brown asks, “What’s that?” She goes, “The fear of everything!” Then Charlie Brown yells, “THAT’S IT!” I have never related more to a character in my life.
Aaron: The saddest part is when he hangs an ornament on a tree and it dies in front of him.
Michael: This is a great lesson about how everything can go badly, as long as you have some smooth jazz. Also you should throw the George Michael Arrested Development GIF of him walking to the Charlie Brown song.
April: So are we going to talk about child neglect? Because that’s all this movie is about.
Michael: This movie could never be remade. Any 4-year-old has their own cell phone and Twitter account. Gah. Youths.
Aaron: Let’s look at the undertones of this movie: How stressed about life do you have to be in order to forget your child and go to Paris?
April: The kid is way too resourceful for his age. In “Home Alone: April Edition,” it would’ve just been two hours of me crying.
Aaron: YES! OH MY GOD. GREATEST CHRISTMAS STORY OF ALL TIME.
April: Never seen it.
MK: Aaron, this isn’t a Christmas movie.
Aaron: The kids gets a Mogwai for Christmas. Then it gets wet and births all these Gremlins. They go around and cause all this ruckus. So then, this kid has to destroy these Gremlins. The climax of this movie takes place in a CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP and the Gremlin has a chainsaw. It’s wild, man. It has plenty of Christmas morals, like don’t eat after midnight, don’t go outside too much, don’t take baths…
“How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (live-action version)
MK: Shoutout to Taylor Momsen before she got cast in “Gossip Girl” and turned scary.
April: I’m going to give you six words: Jeffrey Tambor as Mayor Augustus Maywho
Aaron: The Whos still haunt my nightmares. The only thing that scared me more than the Whos as a child were the clay people in “Spy Kids.”
April: Nobody could have gotten more into that role more than Jim Carrey. He ate an onion like an apple. That’s dedication.
MK: Anything else we want to mention about “The Grinch?”
April: We mentioned Jeffrey Tambor. That’s all that needs to be said.